blogs/rabbi-huberman

The Power of Words and Promises

On June 21, 1891, an editor with the Chicago Daily Tribune penned a headline which remains an important phrase within American culture.

Talk is Cheap.

At the time, he was referring to a local politician's wild promises.

Over the past few months, as momentum towards the upcoming elections grows, the phrase is invoked as voters are promised change and progress by those across the political spectrum.

Experts tell us that we are now bombarded daily by more than a thousand direct messages, aimed at either getting us to buy or believe in someone or something. When you shop at the grocery store, video ads stream at the checkout.

The other day while I was filling up at a local gas station, I noticed ads blaring from screens embedded into the pumps. Television monitors spewing programs and commercials are common in New York taxis.

We couldn't take in all of the information we're fed from all these media every day: we'd lose our minds. And how much of it do we believe? Well. "Talk is cheap."

Whom do we trust? Whom do we believe? As the sheer quantity of paid messages within our lives increases, we have perhaps begun to lose faith in the conduit which delivers these messages: words.

But in this week's Torah portion, Mattot-Maseh, we are reminded that words do make a difference. The Torah teaches us that when we make a promise, all we have is our word.

The Talmud reminds us likewise that when we walk into a store, and engage a salesperson with no intention of buying a product, we rob the person of one of their most important assets: hope.

This week's Torah portion tells us that a person "should not break his pledge: he must carry out all that has cross his lips." (Numbers 30:2) It provides a reminder that, when you give your word, your word is you.

The Torah stresses the power and solemnity of words from the opening verses of Genesis: God creates the universe through the power of words.

The Torah reminds us thirty-six times to be kind to the stranger. It stresses the importance of conducting ourselves with integrity, and, perhaps most of all, to weigh kindly and responsively the words of others.

During the early 1990s, when I worked on an environmental study with First Nations ("native Canadians") in northern Canada, I was repeatedly asked by the chiefs what I would do with the words shared by local elders.

"As soon as these words leave my lips, they take on life in the universe," an elder told me. "Will you use my words to help or hurt my people?"

The power of speech of one of the greatest gifts given to human beings. Our tradition reminds us that through the power of words and promises, we possess the ability to make the world holy.

Perhaps we can't count on the vows and promises of others, but we can control what comes out of our own mouths. Jewish tradition teaches that there are moral penalties for making a vow, especially for making someone believe your words, when those words were hollow from the start.

When we were growing up, we often heard the phrase, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

That has never been quite right, has it? And today it is demonstrably untrue: headlines in recent years have been flooded with countless suicides of children being targeted through cyberbullying-gossip and personal attacks via text and social media.

These words often focus on sexual reputation or orientation, body shape, social awkwardness, or disability. With all the words entering the universe through texts, emails and other communication forms, there is no escaping the potential to damage others. The verbal knife cuts deeply, and none are so vulnerable as the young.

This week's Parashah reminds us that words do matter, and that the integrity of our relationships, and even our social structure,is linked to words.

Jewish people are often called by those other religions "The People of the Book," perhaps in part because we understand that books are made up of words, and that above all words matter.

Let us therefore remind ourselves, especially this week, that before we make a vow, large or small, that every vow engages another human being with the promise of hope.

 Let us not willingly or unwilling rob another of their hope and optimism. For even in our smallest commitments we either elevate or diminish holiness in this world.

Let us therefore commit, to the best of our ability, to the truth of those words and promises we utter.  

Let them build love, but most of all, let them be kind.

Shabbat shalom, v'kol tuv (with all goodness)

Rabbi Irwin Huberman