blogs/rabbi-huberman

Parashat: Sh’lach Lecha 

Lessons from a flip phone

This past week, I experienced a proud “grandfather moment.”

Our grandson, Mason, 16, made an important $100 purchase. His iPhone had finally reached the point of no repair, and rather than insist on a new $2,000 model, he walked into a phone store, and made a request that few clerks hear these days.

“I’d like to buy a flip phone.” I can imagine the clerk gesturing towards a wall of shiny new devices. But our grandson repeated his request.

When asked why, Mason shared an inner feeling that these days, too many are missing out of life, in search of the next distraction, numbing themselves from the real world, heads down, walking into walls.

Mason, who has set his career goals on becoming a conservation officer, had other ideas. Cell phones should be for texts, emails, phone calls and the occasional video.

“So,” he said. ”Sell me a flip phone.” I have never been prouder, as Mason—who in his quiet way—listened to his heart, and pursued what was right for him.

Many years ago, my mother bought me a book, which I recently reordered, titled “Every Boy’s Handbook” which at age 10 taught me an important lesson courtesy of English author Rudyard Kipling, whose poem “If” is quoted in the book’s early pages.

“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs,” the poem begins. ”Then you will be a man, my son.” What an important link to this week’s Torah portion which explains why it took the Israelites 40 years to journey from Egypt to the Promised Land.

It teaches that “Is it better to embrace what we believe to be right—than to mindlessly follow the crowd which is often wrong. The Israelites are now in their second year after departing Egypt. They are close to the Promised Land.

As parashah Sh'lach Lecha (“Send Agents to Scout the Land”) opens, God instructs Moses to select a leader from each of the 12 tribes and scout the land of Canaan—now known as Israel.

They leave camp with questions. Can the Israeli army defeat the Canaanite troops? Are the cities fortified? How strong are its inhabitants? Upon their return, ten of 12 come back in a panic.

They declare the inhabitants of Canaan to be huge and intimidating. The country’s cities are walled and forbidding. They declare that “the land we have scouted is one that devours its settlers.”  Furthermore, “We looked like grasshoppers to ourselves and so we must have looked to them.”

The Israelites spend the night weeping. They begin to question Moses and Aaron’s leadership. ”It would have been better if we would have remained in Egypt…let us head back to Egypt.” But the dissent is not unanimous.

Joshua and Caleb representing the tribes of Judah and Ephraim present a different view. They insist that if the Israelites draw upon their inner strength and conviction—if they trust in a higher power—they can conquer the land.

Ultimately, the majority of 10 sways public opinion. It is one reason why Jewish quorums, known as minyans, require 10 persons to hold an official religious service.

God surveys the situation, and in disgust condemns the Israelites to another 38 years—40 in total—to wander in the desert, until a new generation, free of “slave mentally” is born.

I sometimes think about Joshua and Caleb, and how they must have been ostracized. Yet, they did not follow popular opinion. They believed in themselves and the future of Israel. What an interesting lesson for each of us.

How many times in our lives have we made a decision which went against the crowd—perhaps a new job, choice of partner, or the place where we would eventually lay down our roots.

How much of the safe, satisfying and secure lives we live today came about because we—or our parents and grandparents—took a chance, or more importantly left the places of their birth to do what was right for them, and ultimately us?

There is an interesting article I stumbled upon this morning about a new trend in flying. The article quotes therapist Michael Ceely who once spent a four-hour flight with no magazines, no movies, and no podcasts. He just looked out the window and contemplated life.

“I was tired of the usual routine of watching a movie or reading a book (onboard),” he shared. ”So I said, ‘I’m just going to kind of stare off into space, and use it is a Zen meditation.’” It’s become a trend, especially for those living high pressured lives—to choose contemplation and meaning—as opposed to distraction and perpetual stimulation.

A few years ago, Patte and I belonged to a Jewish group where monthly we would meet at someone’s house, and that couple was responsible for creating an interesting program.

One month, it was suggested that we come prepared to talk about our favorite character in the Torah. I chose Caleb. Indeed, Joshua, Moses’ eventual successor, was always destined for great things. God had blessed him with leadership capabilities.

But Caleb was an average fellow who by his ethical behavior sets an example for us all. His faith, his honestly and his integrity teach us that you need not be a Moses, Aaron or even Joshua to make a mark on this earth.

We just need to follow what is in our hearts—to live as kind and charitable human beings—and that even applies to the values we draw upon when we purchase an important commodity. This is a week of transition for me. I pass another birthday, remembering a wonderful quote my mother shared with me 61 years ago.

But I am also inspired this week by our grandson, named after his great grandfather—who always challenged the system when he believed it was ethically wrong. As the only Jew living in Donnacona, Quebec, Zaidie Nissan who took on the local priest and his anti-Semitism, gained universal respect for his deeds of kindness.

How reassuring that in some way, Zaidie Nissan’s lessons have trickled down through the generations. Who was it in your life who taught you these lessons? To pursue what is right. To truly appreciate each day, and embrace our fellow human beings. And sometimes, to just look out the window. 

And perhaps that all the technology we truly need, can be found in a flip phone.

Shabbat Shalom, v’kol tuv

Rabbi Irwin Huberman