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The "R-Rated Torah"#853

11/25/2024 11:39:27 AM

Nov25

Rabbi Irwin Huberman

     Parashat Chayei Sara

    The "R Rated Torah"

The Torah has always been regarded as a little bit stodgy when it comes to love and sex.

The religion that we practice today often relegates these topics to the inner pages of the Talmud, or various mystical texts.

One of Judaism’s most erotic books, the Song of Songs, was the last text to be included in the Bible before it was sealed in the second century.

Many Sages argued that the Song of Songs, attributed to King Solomon, was a little too fresh to include in a collection of holy texts.

It was considered, as one scholar noted, "secular love poetry, a collection of love songs…one to be excluded.”

But as one of my rabbinical teachers, an expert in Jewish texts noted, “these songs were being sung in the pubs, and some of the more progressive Sages wanted the Bible to relate in every way to the lives of the people who read it.”

And while the Talmud offers, within its volumes, explicit directions on matters of intimacy, it has been often asked “where is love first mentioned in the Torah?” In addition, is sex, as some "non-Jewish texts" insist, a “sin of the flesh,” or is it a joyous part of life?

The answer to both is contained in this week’s Torah portion as we witness a story of “love at first sight.”

In this week’s parashah, Chayei Sarah, “the life of Sarah,” Judaism’s first matriarch passes away at age 127. Isaac, the couple’s only son, is devastated.

Abraham sends his senior servant, Eliezer, to the family’s hometown of Charan in search of a bride for Isaac. Eliezer meets Rebecca at the well, and notes, according to prophecy, that she not only offers him water after his lengthy journey—but also to Eliezer’s camels.

In so doing, Judaism’s tradition of kindness and hospitality, which began with Sarah, continues with Rebekah.

As this incident and many to follow will demonstrate, Rebekah is no passive character. She exudes independence.  Will she accompany Eliezer to meet her future husband? Her family asks her “will you go with this man?”

And Rebekah answers, “I will.” She is willing to take a chance. She is adventurous, curious and fearless.

But here’s the part of the story which is so inspiring.

As Rebekah approaches Abraham’s camp, Isaac is off in a nearby field meditating. Isaac looks up and sees this beautiful woman approaching.

He is immediately smitten. He begins walking towards her.

Rebekah in turn notices Isaac in the distance, and is “alighted.”

She asks “who is that man walking in the field towards us?”

She lowers her veil and covers her blush—and as the Torah records, the two are soon married.

The Torah tells us that “Isaac loved her.” And we can assume that Rebekah felt the same. And love is introduced within our most sacred scripture.

Throughout the centuries, the Bible has often been regarded as a serious collection of moral lessons assembled to build our faith and connection with a higher power.

But here, within the simple story of Rebekah and Isaac, we are inspired by simple and sweet first love.

Rebekah ultimately inhabits the tent of Isaac’s late mother, and Judaism’s trajectory, based on love, comfort and hospitality, is secured into the future.

Later in the Torah, as a neighboring monarch, King Abimelech, looks out his window, he notices Isaac and Rebekah, tastefully stated, “Fooling around.”

It’s a brief mention, but it adds depth, if not spice, to this biblical narrative.

Isaac and Rebekah were not great parents, but it comforts me to observe whether within its mystical texts, the Songs of Songs, the story of Isaac and Rebekah, or elsewhere in the Bible, that the sanctity of love is included.

There is even a hint of this within the special friendship between David and Jonathan.

Throughout the centuries, across many religions, the Torah has been interpreted by theologians and moralists—and often misdirected to inspire fear and conformity.

But ultimately, the Torah is a peoples’ document, and, as our ancient Sages concluded almost 2,000 years ago, love exists within all people.

Within this Biblical story, we also find the origins of a wedding custom which is practiced to this day -- the bride often covers her face at the beginning of the ceremony.

As Rebekah “alighted” when she first sees Isaac and covers her face, we are reminded that love is a sacred and private emotion.

And love is something Judaism embraces fully through its texts, and in every day practice.

As Rebekah comforted Isaac during his time of mourning, couples have been standing together for thousands of years—through both good and challenging times, as we eternally share the words of Isaac and Rebekah:

“I love you.” “You light up my life.”

For as Judaism teaches, it is love, in all its expressions, which makes our lives complete.

Shabbat shalom v’kol tuv.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman

Mon, November 25 2024 24 Cheshvan 5785