blogs/rabbi-huberman

Every few years, I hold a session for people interested in developing an “ethical will.”

Most of us have written—or have considered writing—a physical will to distribute our financial and material assets after we are gone.

An ethical will is different.

The concept is inspired by the Book of Genesis, as Jacob, before passes away, addresses each of his 12 sons—blessing some for their qualities, while admonishing others, for failing to live up to their potential.

For thousands of years, this biblical text has inspired parents, teachers and others to leave behind an ethical blueprint to inspire their descendants.

The practice of preparing an ethical document has become increasingly popular in recent years, answering such questions as:

What lessons have we learned in our lifetime? What causes or charities would we like to see perpetuated? What kind of funeral would mean the most to us?

Over the years, as I have guided individuals through this process, I have added one question that seems to resonate deeply within the group.

“What was the biggest error you made in your life—and what can others learn from it?” 

While many of these regrets occur in our younger years—many emerge as we age:

“Who, if anyone, have I hurt on purpose, or unknowingly?” “Have I been oblivious to the loneliness or pain of another?

“Is there someone in my life—perhaps a friend from my youth—who I should have reached out to over the years, but never did? How can I help prevent those who follow me to live without these regrets?”

Those questions—are part of the process of developing what is known in Hebrew as a tza’va’ah—and to help answer the question: “What did my hardships teach me, and how can I share these lessons with others?”

In this week’s Torah portion Moses continues his final teachings as he prepares to enter the world of souls.

It has now been 40 years since the Exodus.  Over four decades, the Israelites have experienced war, adversity, exposure to heat and cold, and complete reliance on God for food and protection.

What was the purpose of this?

Moses answers this question as he reflects upon the Israelites’ 40 years of wandering—and it’s one of my favorite quotes in the Torah.

“God has made you travel in the wilderness these past 40 years that he may test you by hardship to learn what was in your hearts.” (Deuteronomy 8:2)

We endure many kinds of wildernesses. Over 40 years, the Israelites wandered with no luxuries, survived heat and sand, and traveled on a path which at times may have seemed endless.

They must have also endured a personal wilderness of uncertainty, insecurity and—potentially—a lack of purpose.

Can we relate? Who has not pondered why and how we were brought into the world—and where we are going at the end of our earthly days?

In this week’s Torah portion, Moses inspires us to reflect upon, “What is the purpose of it all—and what have we learned?”

None of us is the person we were during our youth. We are better. The great Sage Maimonides added, “We do not stop learning and experiencing until our last breath.”

So, as Moses reflects upon the journey of the Jewish people more than 3,000 years ago, he inspires us to consider, “What challenges have we endured, and how have we grown through these trials?”

Actress Mary Tyler Moore once shared, “No one gets through this life without adversity.”

Jewish tradition teaches that we should appreciate the journey, giving thanks for the opportunity, and embracing gratitude for the privilege.

Rabbi Ovadia ben Jacob Sforno (1475-1549) expanded upon Moses’ quote adding that “What is in your hearts” is linked to “expressing itself in action.”

Sforno taught that adversity—as it interacts God’s spark within each of us—strengthens our souls.

Therefore, it is important that as we become spiritually stronger and more ethically wise—we act on these revelations by, in the words of the prophet Isaiah, addressing homelessness, hunger and poverty.

This week, Moses teaches that God has presented us with varying degrees of physical and spiritual wilderness—“to learn what is in our hearts.”

Through our joy and pain, success and failures each of us has grown.

Our Sages also ask, have we truly embraced the “power of wilderness” by expressing gratitude and taking positive action to heal this broken world?

This week’s Torah portion, inspires us to reflect:

After all we have learned, after all that we have endured,  “What is truly in our hearts?”

Shabbat shalom, v’ kol tuv.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman