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Who Should We Tell Our Dreams To?

As some point in our lives, each of us has been profoundly affected by a dream.

These dreams seem real. When we awaken, we feel we've been touched by something outside the realm of fantasy or imagination. We feel as if we were actually there, either in this life, or in another time.

The Torah tells us that this is a very Jewish phenomenon. 

In this week's Torah portion, we are formally introduced to Joseph, of Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat fame. He is the most favored of all of Jacob's sons, and his brothers hate him for it.

When we meet him, he is seventeen, and sharing two visions of grandeur with his brothers.

These were dreams of arrogance. Joseph tells his brothers that, in future, they will serve him: eleven sheaves bending in front of his sheaf.  In another dream, he relates, his father, mother, and eleven brothers will eventually bow to him.

For Joseph's brothers, this is the last straw. They are infuriated.

The rest of the story has been captured by Broadway and Hollywood: Joseph is rescued from the pit into which his brothers threw him, and eventually rises to fame in Egypt, where he becomes the most powerful person in the land.

But before they continue exploring the Joseph narrative, our Kabbalistic masters pause for a moment to ponder the nature of dreams themselves.  They ask the question, "What are dreams, anyway?" And they look for an answer.

The Zohar, Judaism's primary mystical text, teaches that when we sleep -- when we dream -- we enter the realm of prophesy. 

Each vision contains "one sixtieth of prophesy," and that when we dream God "uncovers human ears."

These are the ears we cover when, in our waking hours as adults, we block out as we pursue material things. But the Zohar teaches that when we sleep, our soul leaves us and "soars up above."

That is the reason, our mystic tradition tells us, that dreams often seem so real.

Yet the Zohar takes this one step further. In its study of the story of Joseph's brothers, it provides us with an insight about the nature of dreams, and with whom we should share them.

It suggests that the reason Joseph had to wait twenty-two years to fulfill his destiny was that he told his dreams to people who hated him.

The story, as told in Genesis, reads: "Joseph dreamed a dream, and told it to his brothers, and they hated him even more because of his dreams." (Genesis 37:5, 8)

From this, the Zohar derives an amazing lesson:

"From here we learn that a person should only tell his dream to one who loves him. Otherwise, the listener interferes, and that dream is transformed."

What an incredible insight.

How many times in our lives have we dreamed big dreams?  How many times have skeptics or critics questioned our potential, and our ability to achieve these dreams?

Now think of those in your lives who love you, and encourage you to dream big.

How many of us have changed careers, engaged in a new area of study, travelled to a far-off place, of climbed some personal mountain with the support of those who love and believe in us?

The Zohar, in its wisdom, encourages us to dream. But it also advises us to share our dreams with those love us. 

And we are also told to pull away from those who hold a grudge against us, or wish to restrain or limit our potential.

There are many dreams related in the Torah. Often these dreams center on Joseph, either as the primary dreamer or as their interpreter.

Jewish tradition embraces dreams, either while we are sleeping, or when we are awake.

The founder of the Israel Vision, Dr. Theodor Herzl, told the first Zionist Jewish Congress in 1897: "if you will it, it is no dream."  A half-century later, through pogroms, through the Holocaust, Theodor Herzl and the entire Jewish people achieved this impossible dream.

"If you will it, it is no dream." Is any dream really out of reach?

This week's Torah portion speaks about Joseph and his visions. It also notes that in his youth, Joseph suffered from arrogance. Perhaps that was not his moment to achieve greatness.

But one thing seems certain. His visions of grandeur, told to those who hated him, almost cost him his life.

Each of us has similar dreams. Each of us has experienced, in slumber and in our waking hours, visions and hopes yet to be realized.

The Zohar tells us, "Share your dreams with those who love you. They will help your dreams come true."

The Talmud teaches likewise that it is important to choose our friends carefully. Indeed, one of the major signals that you've found a good friend is that they hear your hopes and dreams and say "I believe in you."

Let us each be blessed with such partners and friends. They will not be afraid to question our dreams, but let them do so from a place of love. 

In 1972, writer Joe Darion teamed up with Mitch Leigh to write the theme song for Man from La Mancha. He wrote that achieving our dreams benefits all of humanity:

And the world will be better for this

That one man, scorned and covered with scars

Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable star.

May we each have the will and support to pursue our dreams, and, perhaps most importantly, as the Zoharteaches, to surround ourselves with those who believe in us.

And on those precious nights when God uncovers our ears, may we have the courage to listen, and, with the help of our friends and partners, pose and answer the truly divine question:

"Why not?"

Shabbat shalom, v'kol tuv (with all goodness)

Rabbi Irwin Huberman