blogs/rabbi-huberman

In 1978, a phrase was coined by clinical psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes which, to varying degrees, speaks to each of us.

They called it the Imposter Syndrome. It identifies within each of us the fear that, at work or within our relationships, any achievements are somehow fraudulent, and any successes undeserved.

It is in many ways a form of slavery.

Research shows that sixty to seventy per cent of successful people experience it.

When we receive a new job or a promotion, or are selected for leadership, we question it: we feel sure that we've somehow hoodwinked our peers and superiors into believing we're something that we aren't.

When we feel happiness in a relationship, we question whether we deserve that happiness.

And we're terrified that the people around us will realize how inadequate we are.

We're not really frauds. But it is a surprisingly universal part of the human journey which, researchers say, is experienced by sixty to seventy per cent of successful people.

This week's Torah reading can inspire us to examine this topic. As our weekly Parashah, titled Shelach Lecha ("Go Send") opens, Moses is commanded by God to dispatch one representative from each of the nation's twelve tribes to scout the land of Israel.

Months after liberation from Egypt, the Israelites are poised to reclaim the holy land. But the people have questions. Are they deserving of their freedom?

The twelve representatives are instructed to find out whether current inhabitants of the holy land are "strong or weak, few or many". They are also directed to assess how fortified the towns are, and to examine the fertility of the soil.

When they return to camp, there is good news and bad news.

The grapes the spies bring back to camp are massive. They report that Israel is awash with milk and honey.

The first two reporting spies, Joshua and Caleb, confirm that the land is inhabited by a large and powerful people, but they nevertheless voice an optimistic battle cry: "Let us by all means go up and we shall gain possession of it, for we shall surely overcome." (Numbers 13:30)

But then the other ten spies speak. They describe Canaan as an intimidating land which devours its inhabitants. "We cannot attack that people, for it is stronger than we."

Moreover, "We looked like grasshoppers to ourselves, and so we must have looked to them." (Numbers 13:31, 33)

And there you have it. "We looked like grasshoppers to ourselves."

The Torah recounts how the people wept throughout the night. They begin tearing their clothing, declaring "If only we had died in the land of Egypt... It would be better to go back to Egypt."

God is infuriated, and considers destroying an ungrateful people, still bound by the mental shackles of slavery.

Upon the pleading of Moses, God decrees that the children of Israel shall roam the desert for another thirty-nine years, until a newer, liberated generation assumes leadership.  

As we look back at this landmark moment in Jewish history, we are drawn to absorb some enduring lessons.

How many times in our lives have we regarded ourselves as grasshoppers? How many times have we considered ourselves unworthy of our success?

How often have we felt like slaves or imposters, when true liberation was at hand?

As author Victor Fankl wrote in his 1959 book Man in Search of Meaning, "Everything can be taken from a human being - except for one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Did the Canaanites regard the Israeli spies as grasshoppers? We will never know. But all that really matters is that the Israelites did.

Our tradition teaches we must trust that the higher power who put us on this earth gave to each of us a mission that only we are capable of achieving. 

As our Sages taught, "There is no one like you, and there will never be anyone like you."

Experts tell us that we can overcome the "imposter" within us by acknowledging that life is a journey. As life coach Ashley Stahl advises, "Instead of thinking something like I don't know anything, why not try re-framing it to... I am still learning."

We also need to accept that we are not perfect. Stahl further asserts that "perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome tend to go hand in hand, so cut yourself some slack."

She also advises those who feel like imposters to take stock of their achievements.

Finally, experts remind us that we are not alone. Almost everyone battles the slavery of "impostership" at some point in their lives.

The Kabbalah, our mystic tradition, teaches that each of us possesses something incredible and unique to contribute to the world. Moreover, each of us is working on an ongoing basis to improve our imperfections. We call this the journey of life.

This week's Torah portion reminds us that it is sometimes difficult to embrace freedom. Often, as experienced by the Israelites in the desert, it is easier self doubt, and to cling to the "Egypts" of our past.

Better to take a chance on the future than to live a life of "what if." No matter what challenge we currently face, we are neither grasshoppers nor imposters. We are giants.

As Victor Frankl wrote, in the aftermath of the Holocaust, "attitude is our ultimate freedom." For we possess the capacity to achieve that which we put our minds to.

We possess within each of us a spark of God, and therefore, anything is possible.

And that is God's most sacred gift to each of us. 

It is our personal ticket to success. It is our passport to freedom.

Shabbat Shalom v'kol tuv.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman