blogs/rabbi-huberman

The photo is buried somewhere in a box. I’m sure one of these years it will turn up.

It was taken on May 24, 2005, during a British royal tour of Canada, and in some ways it created a mini incident.

That morning, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip found themselves in the Alberta capital of Edmonton.

At the start of the day, the royal couple set off in different directions. While the Queen toured a museum, Prince Philip boarded a plane to Fort McMurray, a small northern city where oil deposits — which exceed those in Saudi Arabia — produce 3 million barrels per day.

The Duke of Edinburgh was eager to see this engineering miracle.

And then it happened. As Prince Philip stepped on to the plane, Guy Boutilier, the Minister of Environment whom I worked for, handed the Prince a book on the history of Fort McMurray that I had written four years earlier.

The Prince’s staff went scrambling. “This is an official gift — it must go through protocols,” said one aide. “It can’t be seen that His Royal Highness is favoring one author over another,” proclaimed his personal assistant. “It will just go into the Duke’s pile of never opened items.”

But then Prince Philip stepped in. “It’s a one hour flight — I need something to read.” A photo was taken of him on the flight reading my book, and to this day — to this moment — this major breach of royal protocol has remained a secret.

Upon landing — the Prince approached me. Again, one of his aides dashed towards me. “Do not speak to His Royal Highness,” he instructed. “He must initiate the conversation with you.”

After engaging me in a brief talk about the origins of the fur trade — Prince Philip graciously thanked me and began his tour of the oil plants.

As we walked 50 feet behind him, I asked one of his staff members why all this protocol was so important. It seemed so pompous and pointless.

His aide replied: “When you are in a position of leadership — when people look up to you, when you serve as an example to others — any indiscretion can serve as a distraction, and this can destroy the very fabric and structure our society.

“Leaders must be seen as fair.”

I thought of Prince Philip this week as I reread this week’s Torah portion — titled Emor — “Speak to the Priests.”

While the text devotes time to the mitzvah of putting aside some of what we earn for those in need — the parashah begins with a message to the Kohanim, the priests who served in those days within the Israelites’ royal tribe.

The Torah’s message was clear: Not only act fairly, but be seen that way.

Here are the some of the Torah’s rules enforced upon the Kohanim — which at first glance, may appear as pompous and pointless as today’s royal protocols.

Priests could not marry those who — by ancient standards — had “checkered pasts.”

Kohanim could not come in contact with a dead body. Perhaps it was felt that since priests blessed the people every day, that in some way that blessing would be tainted by death.

Priests wore garments with no pockets — perhaps to assuage any suspicion that they were skimming money or other donated offerings.

In short, priests were commanded to be image-conscious as they conducted themselves in all ethical and public matters.

Yet, isn’t it interesting that while the Kohanim were seen as the respected leaders of the people, the Torah punctuates the importance of good behavior for them, as well as for each of us. As Exodus 19:6 reminds us, “You shall be to me a kingdom of priests, a holy nation.”

One of Judaism’s cornerstone beliefs is that since each of us hosts a soul — a spark of God — in many ways, we are all royalty, we are all priests. This is especially true as we raise future generations. 

Children trust us. They rely on us. They depend on us to serve as a moral compass. Perhaps each of us can remember a time when we realized our parents were not perfect — or perhaps we let a child or grandchild down.

Can we remember how that moment pierced us?

That is why, in many ways, rules regarding the highest tribe — the ancient royal family — continue to be important. For, indeed, the most important royal family dwells within our own home.

The Bible contains many examples of flawed characters. In its early pages, parents repeatedly favor one child over another. But each of us must rise higher than that.

Prime Time television is dotted with comedies where — like Everyone Loves Raymond — the central plot is based upon the idea that one child is favored over another. The Smothers Brothers ran an ongoing shtick that “Mom always liked you best.”

These comedic themes would not have been so popular if they did not resonate with so many.

This week’s Torah portion reminds us that leaders must not only lead, but be seen as leaders. They must be viewed as fair and evenhanded to all — and that the blessings they bestow must be regarded as pure and unblemished.

It’s a call to each of us to reassess our own relationships with those who look up to us. Do we favor the doctor over the carpenter, or do we ensure that each child feels special and cherished both in our’s and God’s sight.

On that day in 2005, Prince Philip said “no” to the royal protocols imposed upon him. I’m glad he did, for now I have a story to tell.

But it also caused me to pause upon his recent passing and consider that behind every leader, there is a human being.

While these formal rules sometimes restrict us, they ultimately provide security and grounding to others.

From time to time, as leaders — as Kohanim of our own households — we need to assess whether we are living examples of fairness for our children and grandchildren.

Perhaps more importantly, the Torah tells us that while usually it's what is in our hearts which matters most, there are times when appearance plays a vital role.

Are we so busy being friends with our children and grandchildren that we have forgotten that there are moments when roles, respect and protocol do matter?

From Prince Philip to Aaron, the priest, to our own homes, the Torah teaches us this week that sometimes it is not enough to merely do the right thing.

It is also important, says the Torah, to be viewed that way.

Shabbat shalom, v’kol tuv.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman

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