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Parashat Vaera - "The Israelites will not listen to me, then should Pharaoh heed me, a man of impeded speech?” (Exodus 6:12)

That Dip on your top lip

Have you ever begun a new job, or accepted a leadership role and felt like you weren’t up to the task?

The phenomenon is known as the Imposter Syndrome, coined in 1978, by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes.

The term means that sometimes we aren't as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth.

But research also tells us, that despite our doubts, most of us rise above these fears – and not only succeed but often evolve into good leaders and teachers.

In this week’s parashah —the second of the Book of Names (Exodus) – the Torah introduces us to the Imposter Syndrome, revealing much about the personality of Moses—perhaps the greatest leader in Jewish history.

Indeed, if there ever was a person within Jewish tradition who exemplified the Imposter Syndrome, it was Moses.

Can you blame him? 

It was a miracle that Moses was even born. When Pharaoh decreed that newborn Israelite boys be drowned, the Egyptian midwives made up stories about why Moses and other Israelites boys were spared. The fact that he lived was based on a lie.

He was surrounded by other untruths and contradictions.

Moses was adopted by an Egyptian princess and raised in a palace as a privileged Prince of Egypt, while the Jewish people around him suffered.

His mother was brought in to nurse him—not as his mother, but as a nursemaid.

Some Sages speculate that Moses even imposed his feeling of inner wandering on his newborn son, who he named Gershom – “a stranger here.” 

There is a Midrash, a legend that says while in Pharaoh’s court, Moses burned his tongue on a hot coal, leaving him physically and spiritually unable to form words.

So, when God approaches him at the burning bush and chooses him as the leader who will liberate the Israelites, Moses expresses profound doubts about his ability to do so.

The Torah records Moses’ lack of confidence: “The Israelites will not listen to me, then should Pharaoh heed me, a man of impeded speech?” (Exodus 6:12)

God knows Moses is a reluctant leader, calling Moses’ name twice. And Moses responds with, “Why me?”

This is one of the most brilliant aspects of the Torah.

Rather than present characters with traits that few of us are capable of, leaders like Moses are portrayed as fellow human beings, who face occasional struggles, flaws, and even feelings of inadequacy.

In his early years, Moses is presented as the person of no fixed address – the stutterer, the anxious one, the imposter.

Many in this world use life’s obstacles to justify why they never take that chance, never fulfill their potential.

The Talmud recounts the story of Rabbi Yochanan, called in to heal a colleague. He asks his ailing friend, “Are these afflictions dear to you?” In other words, “Are you hiding behind your imperfections and self-doubts?”

In some cases, those born into unspeakable circumstances are justified in feeling this way.

But Judaism teaches that each of us has a destiny to fulfill. 

God recognized a spark of humility, justice, and loyalty within Moses.

That same sense of challenge and self-doubt has built within each of us “spiritual antibodies” that have propelled us to become the individuals we are today.

Do you remember that first day on the job? Do you recall when you were put in charge of a project, or given a promotion?

Each of us can relate to Moses the moment he receives the divine call. Each of us can empathize with Moses feeling that he is not up to the challenge.

But we are.

In last week’s parashah, Moses reluctantly assumes the leadership of the Israelites, and when he confronts Pharaoh, the Egyptian leader doubles the Israelites’ workload.

Faced with criticism by his fellow Israelites, Moses could easily return to the desert to become a career shepherd.

But as he returns to Egypt to challenge Pharaoh, he arrives strengthened by all that he has endured. And this time, he comes loaded with the first four plagues of the Passover story—blood, frogs, vermin, and locusts.

This week, as he returns to face the mighty Pharaoh, Moses inspires us to consider that through faith in ourselves and our creator, each one of us is wired to achieve more than we sometimes believe we can.

Our mystical tradition tells us that before we are born, an angel comes to us and whispers the secrets and knowledge of all time, as well as our own lifetime’s personal mission.

We are told never to reveal them, as the angel places its finger over our lips and says, "Shhh."

It is said that is why many of us have a little cleft above the upper lip. It is there to inspire us somewhere deep within our soul, that through occasional setbacks and even self-doubts, each of us has a voice and mission on this earth.

Moses finds his voice this week, inspiring us to find ours.

For each one of us—like the reluctant Moses—possesses within a spark of greatness. And during those occasional times of self-doubt, all we need to do is touch our upper lip.

The secrets to life and our role in it, are contained there.

For as our tradition teaches, as we climb the ladder of life, each of us possesses the power and the potential to set ourselves free.

It is contained within that spark of God that dwells within us all.

Shabbat shalom, v’kol tuv.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman