blogs/rabbi-huberman

Parashat Shemot

The Power of  your hebrew name

Earlier in my life, I became friendly with an Armenian family who ran the jewelry store in the community where I lived.

One day, as I was having coffee with Mrs. Sassoon, the family matriarch, someone came into the shop complaining that a diamond chip on the ring she had recently purchased had detached and was lost.

Within minutes, Mrs. Sassoon replaced the chip and returned the ring to the customer with the words, “No charge.”

I smiled and commented:  “That was a nice thing to do.” But I was also curious and asked, “How much did that replacement diamond cost you?”

She replied, “About $35, but that is not the point. It is about keeping the good name and the reputation of my family.”

She added, “My father taught me many years ago that if someone gives you the choice of losing your right eye—or your good name—you go through the remainder of your life half blind.”

We continued that conversation for years until her passing, as we affirmed across our respective cultures, the importance of a Shem Tov—a good name.

I often note that at the end of a person’s lifetime, we will not be remembered by how large our bank account or other physical assets were, but rather by the quality of the name we leave behind.

It is one reason why most of us were named after a grandparent, or other treasured relative or friend. We carry their best characteristics with us through their name, which -- according to our ancient mystics -- grounds us for life.

That Jewish name, imparted at birth, will be referred to at a child’s bar or bat mitzvah, and be signed to their Ketubah on the day of their wedding.

How interesting that the Jewish word for soul is “Neshama” and the Hebrew word for name is Shem. The two are mystically entwined as we seek from generation to generation to uplift and improve the quality of that name, and thus collectively the condition of humanity.

My paternal grandfather, Zaidie Duddy (z'l') frequently emphasized the importance of developing a Shem Tov—a good name—“from within.” He added that respect is something we earn within our family and our community -- through care, compassion and kindness. 

He once taught me, “The harder we chase after respect, the faster respect will run away from you.”

According to Rabbi Shimon, recorded in Pirkei Avot, our ancient collection of wise sayings, “There are three crowns—the crown of Torah, the crown of priesthood and the crown of sovereignty—but the crown of a good name surpasses them all.”

That is why it is significant that the second book of the Torah, which we begin reading this week, is named in Hebrew Shemot -- names.

It also beckons us to consider, “What is the quality of the name we carry?”

When we walk into a room, are people happy to see us? Is our name associated with good humor, generosity and positivity, or is it linked to pessimism, negativity and cynicism?

Will our grandchildren remember us as sour, resentful and disgruntled, or will they forever recall us as a source of love, wisdom and light?

So many within contemporary Judaism do not know their Hebrew names. It is understandable.

Our families are often so determined to succeed within this often-challenging secular world, that our Hebrew names are not frequently referenced, and therefore forgotten or lost.

But within our tradition, names are important. For they will carry us on.

Two thousand years ago, our rabbis asked how—after hundreds of years of slavery -- the Israelites exited Egypt with their identity intact.

The Mishnah, our collection of ancient oral stories and traditions, notes: “On account of four things Israel was redeemed from Egypt: they did not change their names, they did not change their language, they did not speak lashon hara (gossip) and not even one of them was found to be promiscuous.”

The Rabbis’ attention to the quality of our Jewish names, has remained a recurring theme within Jewish tradition.

What is your Hebrew name? Where did it come from? What does it mean to you?

And if you don’t have one, how can the Cantor and I help you find one that celebrates your Jewish pride destined to be passed on to someone in the future?

In recent weeks, I’ve been going through boxes carrying mementoes of those days in that small northern town, and when I found an ad for that jewelry store, I remembered Mrs. Sassoon.

And I recalled that about three weeks after the incident of the diamond chip, how the same customer returned, browsed and ultimately purchased a $4,000 ring.

My friend smiled at me as she wrapped the new ring in a box.

She later noted, “We live and build our good name because it is the right thing to do. But when we treat others with respect and we do not take advantage of others, God blesses us with goodness.

“A good name…” she sighed. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It is what God wants of us.”

I agreed, echoing that ancient Jewish teaching in the Mishnah:

While there are many crowns we can pursue within this increasingly materialistic world, “A good name, a Shem Tov, is the greatest crown of all.”

Shabbat shalom, v’kol tuv.

Rabbi Irwin Huberman..